Important chat skills
1、 Listening & mastering rhythm
All those who are annoying have a common trait, that is, they don't consider other people's feelings at all.
I believe a lot of people have met "interrogative" interlocutors. Open your chat with him, 90% of the 10 conversations are about him asking you all kinds of questions, ranging from where your parents work to your income and personal life. This "unique way of communication" gives you the illusion of being held up and interrogated by the enemy.
In addition, I also know some "performance type" speakers, who basically don't give you the opportunity to talk, talking about how awesome they are all the time, and then giving you a set of general principles of life. They are so bored. They don't need normal communication. Instead, they eagerly turn every conversation into a stage and give everyone a free talk show just to satisfy their crazy desire for performance.
Of course, you can ask questions, but you must grasp the boundary between frequency and privacy; Don't talk about yourself. Give the other person a chance to talk. The rhythm of conversation is a very important thing, it determines whether you can communicate happily. By the way, if you don't hate each other, try smiling and keeping a friendly expression.
Before any conversation, please remember to listen to the other person, not to talk nonsense.
Two, do not make complaints about it, but be tactful.
Make complaints about the atmosphere of Tucao too heavy, so everyone began to make complaints about "Tucao" is a very cool thing.
Sometimes, it's cool to see Tucao's passage, but it's not the same thing to make complaints about yourself. Especially those who are not close enough to Tucao, you may make complaints about it. In real life, apart from cross talk actors, Tucao will not make you look funny and humorous, but it will make complaints about your "lack of courtesy and upbringing". The dislike of Tucao is that you put a big pot of salt on the other side's pain to make complaints about the "cheap and interesting". It can't help you solve any problems, but it may make things worse.
Even in the United States, where movies like "the bankrupt girl" are made, well-educated young people are very polite. On the occasion of life, people tend to "may I ask your name?" Replace "what is your name?"; I will take care of it is often used by boys when they treat and pay the bill. Please pay attention to the usage of "take care".
If you want to be considered as a person with proper behavior, you must use honorifics and thank you more. When asking others for help, you should use polite expressions such as "please", "excuse me", "I don't know if it's convenient for you". When the other party has contributed to the project, say more "thank you for your efforts in XX..."; When you refuse others' request, you can be firm, but use euphemistic words. You can say "I'm really sorry, I really can't help you with this matter. Do you want to consider other methods, such as...". In short, don't leave without a word, let the other party feel that he is valued and respected.
3、 Accurately understand other people's information
The reason why many people are boring and can't get to the point is that they can't accurately understand the information conveyed by others, or they are so arrogant that they disdain to understand others.
When others say a word to us, they actually send us a message. Before giving back this information, we need to analyze and process it.
First of all, you have to judge the other person's mood. Is he happy, depressed or in urgent need of comfort? Second, you need to pause a little and refine in your mind what the other person is talking about. What's more, why does he say that? What's his motive. The next question is, what questions do the other person want you to solve?
It may be a little tired to use this method at first, but if you keep thinking, you will find that your speaking ability will be improved in a very short time. After all, the improvement of expression ability comes from thinking.
4、 Express your point of view accurately
A borrow money with you, you reluctantly say "good", the other party will be happy, but you may not be; If you say "no problem", the other party is overjoyed and goes home to have a good sleep. From then on, your nightmare begins.
Before speaking, don't promise something you don't want to do just to make the other person happy; Especially in the face of important commitments, please feel your heart and ask, "what do I want this thing to be?"“ What do I really want. You can make the other party feel comfortable in your attitude, but you must follow your heart in making specific decisions.