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Wednesday, July 21, 2021

How to change will chat!

How to change will chat!


Some people think that the endless flow, from stories to jokes, makes everyone look at you with admiration. If you are there, you will never be cold. This is called "chatting".


That's what I thought. However, it turns out that all interpersonal skills, in the final analysis, are in the same sentence: "do the right thing at the right time.".


In my opinion, "chatting" should mean "making use of the tool of chatting to get closer to each other". Chatting is just a tool, and the purpose of chatting is the ultimate concern.


Compared with simply speaking, "chatting" is more about speaking more when it's time to speak and listening more when it's time to listen; When it's time to talk about yourself, when it's time to talk about yourself, focus on the other person; When it's time to show yourself, when it's time to leave the stage to others, it's time to give applause to others.


This is not a problem that can be solved by a simple theory, because to grasp "appropriateness", we need to judge the situation, observe the words and colors, and be flexible. These skills need to be honed.


Before talking about specific skills, I would like to say a few words from the perspective of "Tao".


As far as I can observe, many people who "can't chat" simply feel that there is no topic.


This is due to the lack of accumulation. After all, if your accumulation is too weak, you don't have the ability to dig out the topic first. Even if the other party gives you a good topic, you may not be able to pick up the conversation because you don't understand it at all.


Therefore, if you want to chat back and forth, the necessary knowledge reserve is indispensable.


However, knowledge reserve is not decisive. After all, most of the time, we don't chat in all aspects of politics, economy and history, and we don't go deep into the world outlook and values. Most of the time, we just kill time, exchange feelings, and find a sense of friendliness and identity in each other.


However, why can't some people talk about even simple topics and simple contents?


As far as I can observe, those who can't continue talking often feel "what's the meaning of this", "nothing to say", "embarrassed" and "eager to go home".


1、 Be genuinely interested in others


I have read a sentence before, which has benefited me a lot: the first point of good interpersonal relationship is sincere interest in others.


Think back to those conversations that make us feel boring and want to get away quickly. Is it because, to a large extent, we are not only not interested in the topic, but also in the people we are talking to.


Even the most boring topics, such as the weather, what's the weather like here? What's the weather like in each season? What kind of weather do you like best and why? Did anything happen the last time it rained? Did anything romantic happen?


Look, if you are interested enough in each other, even the most boring topics, such as weather, you can find many interesting topics, because you want to know each other very much

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